so... these jackasses that live next door have been shouting and banging on things all night, freaking me out and making it impossibly for me to sleep. it is now 6am. in the last hour or two it's gotten a little scarier. i realize that they've been locked out. then one of them starts changing a flat tire in the alley. halfway through, he yells "tony, please come back! i need my bong!!" like really really loud and upset, like it's the most important thing on earth. and he totally looks like the disgusting chode of a guy from twilight. but he can't change the tire because either he's a total moron, or he's just too fucked up. the other guy is up on the 3rd floor relentlessly pounding and kicking the door. i am fucking tired, and the bong comment put me over the edge, so i called the cops. it is amusing to me. sometimes you know that sticking your head out the window and asking them to keep it down will just rile them up. but now the guy has gotten inside! how?? did tony indeed come back? but the car is still in the alley with its lights on... and the cops aren't here yet! now the guy who got inside is coming out to him... aw, who will the police talk to? oh well. at least now they'll shut the fuck up and stop giving me heartburn. i can fucking feel it. those bastards. oh, here's the cops. i'm sure they won't get in any trouble. unless that one guy is extra special fucked up. who's this other kid? is that tony? they don't seem to be agreeing on things. i think maybe this new kid locked them out on purpose. i wouldn't blame him. i mean, the less obnoxious one is wearing a track suit... "tony" and 2 cops go upstairs to have a chat. uh-oh, the cop in the alley is doing the thing where he turns his gun hip away. that means they don't trust you! i don't know if these guys even live there! now they have disappeared. i think they're all done. oh wait, they're all back in the alley. the cops are telling "tony" off. haha! now lori is out asking what the fuck is going on. she lives next door to whoever lives there. "tony" is on his phone making calls. screaming man is wandering. "tony" goes upstairs and inside with one of the cops. back again. what are they doing?? i think they may be trying to find someone to come and get these losers. maybe they're waiting for AAA. or AA. arrrgh i can't not watch. i really really need one of those satellite dish microphone dealies that you point at things far away and you can hear them. whoa, i heard the cop just now. he told bongman off good! that's it, man. i'm having a beer. i thought these guys would make the yelling stop! these kids are just magically obnoxious. i come down with great vengeance and furious anger on those who wake me in the middle of my sleep. ok, i think they're still in the garage, but i'm seeing no signs of movement. oh, there they are. talking to "tony". i think they're telling him that going to bed and pretending these guys didn't exist wasn't cool, since they were his guests. but he says he didn't even invite them over. there's an older cop fellow who has got them all together and they're having a little chat. he's pretty genial. he's doing the whole "i have a son your age" thing. now they're just filling out a report, and i think that will be it. the sun is up, and it is an hour and a half later than when i started this, so i think it's time to try to go back to sleep. happy easter, everybody.
