Old Hobo vs. Yuppy Dad

i look out and see a man with his pants around his ankles and untidy whiteys around his knees. he's leaning/sitting against Birthday Man's garage door, pissing slowly. he seems to be holding a balloon in his right hand. don't ask me why. it looks like he's about to move on to the pooping. the man from the second floor 2 buildings down from mine sees him and, pardon the pun, gets pissed. he obviously doesn't want the old hobo to finish his business with the explosive diarrhea that is bound to come next. since his wife and tiny son are on the back porch, i kind of see his point. yuppy dad starts shouting, rather violently, for him to pull his pants up and get out of here. old hobo is not really with it, and instead eats something he's been holding in his balloon hand this whole time. i'm trying not to wonder what it was. while doing this, he may or may not have given yuppy dad the finger. if he did, it was very slight. either way, yuppy dad loses patience and opens up the big sliding gate. he comes out shouting. his wife starts yelling "get away from him! get away!! don't touch him!!" i mean like screaming at him. i'm not sure if she's worried that this inebriated hobo has a concealed weapon of some sort (god knows where he'd be storing it), or if she's worried that her husband might assult the guy, or if she just doesn't want fecal matter on her spouse. so yuppy dad waggles his finger in old hobo's face and continues to shout, veins flaring in his neck, as he retreats through his fence. the hobo gets his pants most of the way up and meanders down the alley. yuppy dad is really worked up and asking his neighbors if they just saw that shit. he gets out his cell and calls 911, which really seems unnecessary since, i mean, the guy has his pants on and is no longer within sight. but i can see old hobo set down a milk crate just around the corner from the fence to finish his 40. yuppy dad realizes that he's there and tries to yell around the corner at him. 2 neighbors from a different building are unloading their car next to this and don't really seem to know what to do. yuppy dad is getting even more worked up. unable to wait any longer for the popo, he goes marching down the alleys and up and down the streets, trying to find a squad car. they finally come, and he goes running down the alley to meet them. he marches next to the car, guiding them, pointing at the hobo all the while. then we points at the pee puddle. the cops shout "take your bottle and your crate and get out of here!" most of the cops around here are usually cooler about this kind of thing. old hobo staggers away, and i hear him muttering "sorry, sorry." old hobo tosses his crate and bottle (a new furniture store?) into a dumpster and leans against it, trying to get his bearings. another cop car comes down the alley from the other direction, and they try to pass each other. hands emerge from the windows and slap down side mirrors. they try to go fast so that they don't look like incompetent idiots, but they fail. the 2nd car finally passes the 1st and pulls up next to the hobo and his dumpster. after lecturing him for a minute, the cop slowly follows him down the alley in his car, and they both disappear around the corner.